- When it became apparent to me
that my marriage was, you know,
kind of on life support and likely going to be ending,
I thought about finances a ton.
Can I pull this off?
Am I going to be able to support
myself and my kids just on my own?
I got married really young, I got married at 21.
I didn't know myself very well,
I had not lived much life
and I also didn't know the guy I was marrying that well.
- I ended up starting a career in magazine publishing.
I worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly,
and Men's Journal for ten years.
I was commuting three hours a day door-to-door
and I was the breadwinner.
It was excellent until we had our son.
When he was eight months old
we decided it would be time for me to stop working
and maybe find something closer to home
and spend some time with the kids.
- I went from zero to four kids in four years.
So in the years after building our family,
I think I was just consumed with motherhood.
- We had what I thought was a great relationship.
We never fought.
We were always really kind to each other.
I was totally shocked.
- I never in a million years thought I'd be sitting here
as a mom of four, divorced.
- The number one thing that I hear people say is
I wish I'd come in here sooner to have this conversation
because I don't feel like
I made the best decision for myself.
- My husband and I rarely talked about finances
because it was never an issue to worry about.
At this point, I don't even know
what bills are paid out every month.
And that to me is so eye-opening
because how could I not know
what we were paying for electric
or for gas or for taxes and things like that
but I literally had no clue.
- I regret that I didn't have more ownership.
I regret that I wasn't paying attention.
You never know if you're going to be married forever
and I lived financially as if I would be.
- As you're thinking about your financial future,
you want to make sure that you're building
a good team for yourself.
- I didn't seek out any help
and in retrospect, I wish I had.
For someone to guide me, to say,
here's what you should do in life,
regardless of whether you're married or not,
here's how to protect yourself.
- If I had a friend in my position
or who I thought may be headed for divorce,
I would say, take an active role.
Ask questions if you're not involved.
Ask your husband or your partner,
What are we doing every month?
What do we spend every month?
I should have been submitting money to a 401(K),
I should have been saving,
I should have planned better for the future.
- I had to be really savvy in preparing
and then figuring out what I was going to do moving forward
and I feel really fortunate that I took the time
before I had my kids to have a degree
to have a career that I could fall back into.
Because here's the thing -
you don't want to be planning all of that stuff
in the midst of that life upheaval and a crisis.
You want to plan that stuff when things are okay.
And then, if the bottom falls out, you have a path.
- No woman should ever feel afraid
of achieving financial independence.
I'm looking forward to kind of crossing the threshold.
It's scary right now on this side of it,
but I think once I pull the pin,
and I start taking over the finances on my own,
it won't be as scary any more.
- You know, through the divorce,
it forced me to learn about my own business.
It has had me looking at my own future
and how I'm saving for retirement.
I know that I can do it on my own.
I know I can support myself.
I know that I can take care
of four kids competently as a single mom.
I know I can do it, I'm doing it.
- There's no reason why a woman can't emerge
from this situation stronger and more confident.
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét