Auto news on Youtube Dec 3 2018

- Yesica says that her husband Gilbert's

demanding job

consumes him, and she needs more.

Gilbert says he's working hard

to provide for their family,

and there's only so much of him to go around.

Yesica, I mean this conflict with you

about the whole working thing

it's that serious that you threaten divorce?

- Honestly, yeah!

It is.

Because I...

I feel like...

Sometimes I feel like he's not happy either.

It's not just me, you know what I mean?

And, I'm an actions girl.

I don't like talk.

- [Judy Ho] Well, Gilbert

you've actually threatened divorce too, right?

When you guys were fighting?

- Yeah, he has.

- What happens is

that when you have no freedom,

you're pressured at work,

pressure at home.

What time do you have?

- [Areva Martin] But, do you guys know

the reality of divorce?

How difficult it is to get divorced?

You have three kids, what that would mean to them

in terms of splitting up your family.

- [Judy Ho] Financial impact.

- And here you're complaining about him being gone.

What if he's really gone?

He's out of the house,

and now you're sharing kids.

You're trying to split his one salary.

So, you can't just play around with divorce.

Divorce is a really serious thing.

- Absolutely.

- [Judy Ho] Here's the problem with threats.

Threats about divorce

is the weapon of mass destruction in a relationship.

Because, you use it

because you're upset.

You're trying to communicate to them,

this is serious,

but instead of putting them in problem-solving mode

it puts your partner in self-defensive

and self-protective mode.

It gets at the core of people's attachment

and abandonment issues.

So, it really ruptures the trust

that you could build in a relationship.

- [Vivica Fox] Yesica, can I ask?

Most girls would dream

to have a brother that's bringin' in

250,000.

(audience cheering)

- Right.

Well I do have my jewelry business on the side.

- [Vivica Fox] And, Yesica listen--

(laughing)

- [Vivica Fox] Listen for a second.

I just think that its,

You gotta realize you gotta a good man beside you.

He's working hard.

He could be out drinkin'

and clubbin' and doin' all that.

and then you not havin' the time with him,

but he's working hard,

you see that he's--

- [Areva] Or he could be unemployed and not workin'

and bringin' money into the house.

- And, bringin' home problems.

When you've got a man, you know where he's at.

He's working hard.

He's providing a wonderful

home for your kids

and for you guys to take trips

and stuff like that.

To me,

it just seems like

you wanted him to quit the construction job.

He quit that.

Okay, then he went and got the other job,

and now you're complainin' to him about that.

Is it that you can't be happy?

Because he seems like he's okay,

like I'm workin' hard,

I'm providin' for the family,

but it seems to me that it's like

whatever he does, it's not gonna be enough.

That's just my honest assessment.

- [Jessica] Yeah, Right.

No, I get it.

No, I totally get it.

(audience clapping)

But, it doesn't, I mean

What about me?

What about me feeling appreciated?

He doesn't do that.

And, you know

my parents weren't together for a long time,

and I recently lost my father,

and like he knows what I've been through.

He knows that I struggle with issues.

- [Vivica] Okay, now see, that's what's going on.

- [Jessica] Absolutely.

- Can I tell you?

That's what's going on

- [Jessica] Absolutely, and I'm getting help for that.

I'm taking counseling--

- [Vivica Fox] But that's going on with you, babe.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't really think it's

I mean yes he could be probably doing a little bit more,

and we're gonna do our best to help you face the truth

to start giving her a little bit more,

but you're at a point in your life

where you're needing, needing more.

- Yeah, yeah I just need Support!

Because I didn't get that from anybody,

and if anything I wish that

I could turn to my husband.

Who else do I turn to?

And, if I nitpick at him it's because deep down

I'm so hurt, you know?

- She cares.

And, I know she cares, you know?

- [Yesica] But, I always have to be the strong one too,

and I'm sick of being the strong one all the time.

Does anybody ever ask how I'm doing?

You know, I have feelings too!

- [Areva] No, no, no!

Yesica, we're hearing your feelings,

and we're not dismissing you.

- We're not dismissing.

- We are trying to help you,

and we recognize what you're saying,

and it's really important what you're saying.

It's that you just want more support

from your husband.

But what we are saying is that

a good man is hard to find.

(audience clapping)

And a man like Gilbert seems to be a good man.

We don't want you to end up in divorce court

because you gotta stand there and tell the judge

he says why you gettin' divorced?

Cause my husband worked too much.

This is a fixable problem.

Trust me, I've seen a lot of people in divorce court

and they were not...

They should be in divorce court!

They should be there!

Because their problems were not fixable.

(laughing)

You guys have a very fixable problem.

He's a good provider.

He's a good Dad.

You're a lovely couple,

so we can help you fix this.

- Thank you.

I appreciate that.

- [Judy Ho] You know what you could do right now?

It would be nice if you gave her a hug

because she needs that connection from you.

(audience clapping)

- I love you.

- [Gilbert] Love you, too.